…when I run around the house turning clock hands and punching buttons, screaming, “DIE, DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME! DIE!”
Before I adjusted our chronometers, I skipped into the kitchen this morning to make special killer pancakes in honor of the day, stopping every now and then to crow, “The clock is a lie! Bwahahahaha!” Strangely enough, my husband and son — both of whom play Portal, and who are the ones who introduced me to the phrase “The cake is a lie” in the first place — found this only mildly amusing. Though they did eat the pancakes, so I don’t know what they’re griping about.
Stop Daylight Saving Time. It’s that simple.
It doesn’t save energy. I don’t know how to embed links in words, as I’ve seen so many magical bloggers do; so let me just throw some links your way (or you could just take my damned word for it, already):
And as for the idea that it literally saves lives by reducing traffic accidents: First of all, that may not be true, as the articles in question point out. Second of all — has anyone bothered compiling statistics of traffic-related fatalities in the week after Daylight Saving Time is reversed? Nobody seems to have checked that, even though every mother’s child of us hits the road and immediately starts cursing like land-locked sailors as the sun stabs us in the eyes during rush hour. Because, you see, we didn’t have the chance to adjust to the gradual, natural, seasonal shift of the angle of the light.
And as for all of you self-righteous airheaded morning people who chirp “But I love Daylight Saving Time!” at me every damned year — you know what? I love a lot of weird things, too. And you don’t see me inflicting them on everybody else in the country.
“We get a whole extra hour of daylight!” these dimwits blither on, oblivious to the fact that Daylight Saving Time kicks in in the summer. You know — when the days are getting longer all by themselves. You don’t have to &*#! with the clocks for that.
And if this really is “Daylight Saving Time,” why can’t we take those hours we carefully saved up and pour them into winter, where we could really use the extra light? “Oh, don’t be silly,” DSL lovers say. Silly? You’re the one who thinks you can work magic by switching the clocks twice a year.
Seriously. Just cut it out. Now.
The clocks will tell the truth for a few months now. Wouldn’t it be great if they could be this honest all year round?